Monday, May 17, 2004

I don't know if I can quiet wrap my head around what is going on overseas. This 'prisoner abuse scandal' and poor Nicholas Berg, seems too much for my heart and brand to process. Where does this all end? How much more will this escalate. I can't understand any reason for torturing POWs. Why can't the United States step up and quit looking for who's responsible. The simple fact of the matter is that US is no better than the next country. That high horse they've been riding on for decades should have been taken down by this. This should have been a humbling experience for everyone over here.

I think that there's a little bit in everyone that is capable of cruelty even it's unjust and lacks any coherent logic. I look at how people are scrambling all over the internet to find Nicholas Berg's decapatation. I can't understand it. I have no ounce of desire to know in my mind what a human decapatation looks like. I have no desire to see a man die. I have desire to know that evil.

What little of the video they show on CNN, still breaks my heart to know that we are witnessing this man's last moments in this life. I can't help but feel that horror that must have running through his mind. I'm crying as I type this and I think it's because I feel utterly helpless. I see those images as if it's real time and the events can still changed. But it's futile...what's done is done. And here I sit waiting to see the next atrocity mankind inflicts upon itself.

There seems no end to this storm, instead of learning from our mistakes we continue to make the same mistakes over and over each round getting more spectacular. It bothers me to no end that the prisoner abuse is mostly likely going to be swept under the rug of our consiousness because the beheading hits so much closer to home. And instead of the United States saying "we dropped the ball, sorry Nicholas, we failed you, we're sorry," we hear "We don't know who was resposible, we don't know if they were working without supervision, but we're determined to find out" knowing full well it will be nothing more than a Mexican Standoff of finger pointing.

Never have I know a more desperate time. 9/11 was terrible but at least we didn't see it coming. Right now with open eyes all see the road we're headed down and it's bleak. And I don't want to come to be told that it was all worth it because as far as humanity is concerned we've already lost.

It seems that we're all out to make a name for ourselves in the History Books, but history isn't a book. Thanks to the media and the current administration histors seems more of a reflection of those tashy movies we all watch on late night cable when we're all alone. But this is not history either. History isn't a plot designed to maximize enjoyment and replayability, it's our rule book, it's our strategy guide. It's proof that we've learned from our mistakes and know full well that we will that we won't needless die and suffer the way our ancestors did. The same ancestors who worked so hard to pave the path with their tired and beaten bodies so that we could live a good life.

The way we are living right now has made every life vain. What was the point in any of it? What is the point of any of this?

It's time to wake up and realize that life isn't a movie scrip, and that shocking twists don't make for better living. They say we are experiencing history. Well if this is history then I'm saddened to be a part of it.


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