I need friends. I'm very tired of being stuck in the apartment. Truth is I'm more picky than I can afford to be. Friends seem to drift in and out of my life, but none have remained. Last night I went to that website, you know the one, the one I hate, to see who was online. Same old, same old. Nothing has changed in four months, though I wasn't surprised. I felt really embarassed to be there, because I feel so much better than 'those people'. It aches never to have anyone to do anything with. I just want to do something. This has essentiall been the story of my life. If only I weren't so painfully shy. If only I could let people in before the anxiety.